This bromeliad lives on our back deck and has grown like topsy since I bought him at Bunnings. I know, I know, one should never buy plants at Bunnings, but one is too weak to resist, my dears. I call him Audrey Two 2. Just to amuse myself.

I was only going to do a line drawing of Audrey Two 2, but I happened to have tissue paper in the exact teeth-scraping shade of the flower. I found the paper with some other unusual colours of tissue paper in the Two Dollar Variety Store in Croydon today and bought a stash of them from a sad-looking lady. ‘Happy International Women’s Day’ I said and she smiled nervously.

It is candy pink. Looking at it is like stuffing fairy floss into your head through your eyeballs, then trying to wash it out with lemonade. And some sugar. As some of you may know, I have had issues with pink. This particular shade of pink brings them all up again.