… to all those poor people who keep doing a search on “what christmas presents u r getting this year” or similar. Because they end up here on this blog because of an earlier post, and that is sure to frighten them unduly. This post is of no use to them. I’m not sure if there is one anywhere that would be of use to them, but a surprising number of people seem to have a touching faith in the internet’s ability to answer any query. I can only assume they are very young and that makes me feel like I am misleading and disappointing children at Christmas time. And possibly scaring them as well.

Well hello, guilt and shame, I didn’t expect to encounter you here in my blog.

Listen kids, you’re not really getting a plastic koala, or an alien robot meerkat  for Christmas. I’m sure of that. Pretty sure. Anyway, look at this photo of my Christmas tree. It’s the best I can do for you.

And to the person who was searching “weird toiletry bags” which brought up this post; I can only ask… why?

Here’s a Christmas related confession; I love Christmas movies. “Miracle on 34th Street”, “It’s a Wonderful Life”, or anything with snow or reindeers or angels or cute little elves and inordinate amounts of mushy, heart-warming good-will to fellow men; anything that is, in fact, CORNY. I know. It’s weird for a hardened, old cynic, like me, but secretly I’m made from one-hundred percent pure corn syrup. I’ll even watch the execrable Tim Allen* play Santa Claus, that’s how far gone I am.  I loved the TV movie “Hogfather” from previous years, I’d watch that again; but my current favourite is “Elf”. The boys watched it with me, under protest, but ended up laughing almost as much as me. If you haven’t seen it, you should.

*actually, he’s not that bad; I just remembered he’s the voice of Buzz Lightyear and you can’t knock that.


Oh yeah, I have now remembered he was in “Galaxy Quest” too, which is such a great movie. Sorry Tim. Shouldn’t have dissed you.