I just realised I STILL HAVE THE SAME TOILETRY BAG TODAY. Can it really be twenty years old? Do I ever replace anything? What is wrong with me?

Hem-hmm. Sorry. What I meant to say is – my little ray of sunshine turns twenty today. Twenty. It seems incredible. It’s hard to know what to say about your children that doesn’t sound like a big, drippy cliché, so I’m not going to even start.

I’ll just say to all mothers of young children, who are constantly being told …just wait until they’re teenagers, it’s dreadful; that it’s not. It’s bloody fantastic and in my experience teenage boys are a joy to be around, so full of life and energy. Also, so vulnerable and innocent your heart quails for them and then they go and amaze you with their capabilities and their courage and… well, just look forward to it, I say.

But do be prepared for lots of dick jokes.